Ed and His Poos

We're in the middle of potty training Ed, and I think we're going to be in the middle of that process for the next 7 years.  When Ed was around 18 months, he started turning his fine attention over to the toilet and all that ensues around the toilet.  I felt so proud and pleased.

When the Witherhall's potty train - we just take diapers off and let all willy nilly run wild.  It's like having a not-house-broke puppy for about 2 days.  Then slowly the pee pot gets put to use.

And that's how it was for Ed.  I gloated.  I thought that I rocked my socks a little.

While I was puffed up and strutting - I also remembered that when potty training, sometimes pushing poos can be a challenge because of this age not wanting to let things go - including poos.  Oh man.  Then I really felt like a queen.  Not having children like that.  Not us.  Not the Witherhalls.  We're not pack-rats when it comes to our poops.

That thought ONLY had to cross my mind, and right then and there Ed said, "well mother, I've decided that poop is going to be the one thing that I collect.  Don't worry about space in the house though.  I will keep it packed away in my anal canal."  And I said, "Ed, you are so kind and thoughtful to worry about space in our little mole hole of a house. Thank you."   And from that day forward, Ed has been a collector of all things poop.

We're on the four day cycle.  And it's only four days, because by then I start to get really excited.  If we've reached the closing end of day four and still no expulsion - it's a suppository.  Ed is miserable the 4th day.  Just wanting to sit on the couch and "uggle".  Anything of comfort to help him ignore the turtle head that's popping out.  If he's not wearing a diaper, we then will literally walk in circles - to the "ig pot" and back down the hallway.  I get to follow him, as he's too small to climb on the "ig pot" by himself.  The amount of pleasant thoughts that meander through my mind are far from many.  I just don't understand how you ignore that tickle.  That impending urge.  How do you have control like that?  (Maybe it's because he hasn't had any babies)

Ed will literally get to the point where his chocolate starfish will be open and I can look inside and see his poos - and he will still hold them back.

Finally, finally  - he gives the poop ghost up, and it goes either like this:  no diaper - STANDS backwards on the rim of the toilet and poos, OR diaper - stands on the loveseat WHILE holding both of my hands and poos.

SERIOUSLY???  Why can't he just sit on a toilet,  and push a poo once a day. . . . Maybe even every other.  The production of birthing the anus goods is literally turning me into a worse irrational cray cray mother figure than I feel I'm already slowly evolving into minus poop matters.

And I'm starting to feel self conscious about all my poop talk.  Any person that knows me on a personal level - I feel like that's all I say around them.  "Ed is holding his poos"  "Push your poos Ed"  Poo this and poo that.

In real life, I find much enjoyment chatting about poo.  I am a grown woman who still finds the word "poop" funny.  It's completely unladylike.  But when little kids start saying "poop" and then laughing hysterically - I can't help but giggle too.

But Ed's poo talk issues - I'm exhausted from it.  And completely over.  Not funny.  Is there anybody at all who as never heard me talk about Ed and his poop?  I bet no one.

Take Aways
1)  Stop judging.
2)  Stop thinking about all your helpful food hints that will make Ed better.
3)  Stop thinking about your "have you tried?"
4)  It's a good thing Ed is so snugly and sweet.
5)  I realize that a lot of my take aways include "stop judging".