Receive-Me-Not Lines

I do indeed have major issues regarding my bubble.  Bubble of space.  Space that is mine.  All mine.  No sharing.  I think my bubble is a good 4 feet on each side/all around me.  When my bubble is invaded I either:

a) sweat like a hairy toe in a polyester sock
b) panic and can't hear a word that is being said
c) am unable to comprehend words and or actions
d) suffocate
e) think violent thoughts
f) become statuesque

All big people - take note, STAND BACK.  And I will be much more pleasant.  I might even say something nice to you.  Tell you that I like your socks, er something.  If you want to chat, you should get out of my bubble.  I like talking to people through my bubble windows, not in my bubble house.

Oh, and I don't like being touched. But I do accept massages.  Only the professional kind.  Because I'm a professional and I don't appreciate nonprofessional touches.  (just being real) (aka - I am a LMT, just not practicing)

Also, I hate.  HATE - kissing, making-out, pecking, smacking nobs, exchanging saliva, rubbing faces and touching chin juice.  Major invasion of bubble.  I seriously feel like I'm suffocating.  Actually, I was kicked out of a boy's house one time because I wouldn't kiss him anymore because I felt like I was suffocating.  (hehe) (for real) (his nickname was:  Morgasm)  (stop judging)

I don't like seeing kissing in movies.  I start suffocating, just thinking and seeing what's happening to their bubble space.

Hugs are hard for me too.  But I can survived them.  And have never been kicked out of somebody's house because I refused to hug.  Actually I'm pretty critical about hugs.  Maybe another post for another time.

Moving on . . .

But one of the WORST occasions for me to have to endure, is the receiving line.  Wedding, funeral, and highschool shows.  I actual writhe just thinking about them.  I purposefully ignore them.  They are awkward and more awkward.  And what are you supposed to do with them? (them being the people in the lines)  Hugs?  Talk?  Whatever happens in these lines = bubble invasion on the highest level.

So how does a grown woman go about these lines? (in case I ever feel like being a grown woman and trying out a line)

Do you go through the whole line ignoring those you don't know?  Acknowledge ONLY the people you do know?  What about the people you know, but not that well?  Is there a level of acknowledgment?  Strangers = ignore (look straight ahead), Acquaintances = high five, Good friends/family = hugs?

But what if you know them, and they don't know you?  Then what?

So, here's what I did at the latest receiving line:  walked out of the line, made a BIG half-moon shape and walked straight to the person I came to see.  Exchanged a few words.  Then panicked, because the people  standing next to thepersonIcametosee was expecting some sort of congratulatory acknowledgement.  So I gave them a thumbs up.  And then ran away. (they didn't like the thumbs up) (even though I smiled)

Take Aways
1)  It is never appropriate to grow up when you feel as awkward about life as I do.
2)  Stand back.
3)  Children don't bother my bubble boundaries.
4)  Ok, the truth is, I panic about hugs too.
5)  Big D is welcomed into my bubble.  But no mushy face.  Not joking.

Fun Fact
The time we went to Friday Friends house for their 6-year-old's birthday party, and Ed pooped a few logs in the grass.  And then their 6-year-old told her mother that next year she was going to ask that nobody pooped in the grass at her birthday party.