When I'm not cooking at Mothers, I'll wash the evening dishes. It makes me feel like a semi-helpful daughter. It's the least I can do to cover my free room and board.
But Mother has this horrible habit. Not even habit, it's worse than that. It's more like a get-high-fix. It brings her that much pleasure. . . . I began washing dishes at the age of 7. And Mother had this problem then. So, it's been going on for quite some time.
Let me paint a picture:
Both sinks are filled to heaping. And the dirty trail winds itself down around the corner to the stove and then finishes on the table. It can be overwhelming, discouraging and make you down-right fill out a prescription for prozac. ( I say this without a rude heart, to those who legitimately take prozac)
You don't just jump up after dinner to tackle such heap. It's one of those jobs where you sit and mentally pump yourself up. And if you have mentally prepared yourself, often you must beat Mother off with a stick. Because she doesn't know how to sit for longer than 2.0945 seconds. And she starts cleaning the dish mess that you have started to emotionally invest in.
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So once you've landed the job of your dreams and you're into your 2nd hour of washing. Coming up on the homestretch. You get that surge of accomplishment. Maybe a little bit of pride - Mother reappears with 3 dirty cups.
Who knows where she just came from. But you bite your tongue and wash those 3 cups. Then she reappears with a dirty plate and knife.
Ok. And maybe you puff and pant a tad, but you know that you are so close to finishing, it's not worth getting your panties all poopy.
Plate and knife get washed, and you're all ready to dump the dirty dishwater, and Mother reappears with a dirty pan and 2 bowls.
At this point I start yelling. I lose a fair amount of consciousness in my rage.
1) Where are these dishes coming from?
2) Why is she waiting till I'm almost done?
It's like she either
a) hoards dirty dishes under the couch to spring on any ambitious dishwasher
b) goes on a witch hunt just as the ambitious dishwasher is feeling like a champion
It really is unbelievable. And 100% of the time. Anybody who has braved dish washing at Mothers, knows this to be a dreadful fact.
Take Aways
1) Only wash dishes at Mothers when she is mowing.
2) Cook dinner every night.
3) Just take it like a man.
4) Play a betting game with the rest of the house members to see who is the closest in dish number.
A few things: 1) your dish washing puts me to shame. As does your dinner making and the million other helpful things you do, that I haven't been doing. And I actually live here all the time. 2) I am fairly confident that dirty dishes just fall from the sky as soon as the sinks are empty. This I can empathize with. 3)Where did you find a spoon that was actually successful beating Mother off with?? I usually have to resort to hip bumping across the floor. 4)I really need to start doing dishes mores, especially since it brings you such rage.
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