The Bakery is a Place Where Buns are Made

Something happened to my butt.  It's gotten really unflattering.  The gluteal muscles run down into my hamstrings.  I'm not quite sure when this happened.  Maybe it's been a gradual descent - following the two babies that have made their exit.  Or maybe it's because I love my couch so much and my buns are constantly making mushy face with the cushions.

It took me awhile to see the impending doom that was taking place.  Who spends time looking at their buns?  It's hard work.  You have to find another mirror somewhere in the house so that you can stand backwards and see what the world sees. Ugh.  Too much work to do on a regular basis.

But what really got the ball rolling of paying extra attention to what was happening back there, started when Sister Bear came to visit.  And we did a tot-swim class together.  I noticed that her buns stopped where buns should stop.  And there was no jiggle or cheese.  And I thought "my, I don't think that looks like what I got".

So I started pulling out my mirror.  To often for comfort.  Like, what if it looked like that just today? Or maybe it's the underwear that's causing that unfortunate shape?  Is it normal to have your buns roll into your knee space?  Was it getting lonely up there by itself?

Now, I would like to say:  Big D has proclaimed allegiance to my buns.  He has made reference to finding joy in the unsightliness of them.  And he thoroughly finds the never-ending wobbliness entertaining.

Or so he says.  Husbands say a lot of things that maybe are not quite accurate.  You know, shut the wife up - make her feel like a queen.  So because of his adoration, I really didn't pay a whole lot of attention - until my sister came and waggled her non-wobbly buns around.

Around the same time of acquiring a complexion, I started the process of buying new work clothes - which entail swimsuits and volleyball/running spandex thingys (which I wear over my swim suit to help hide the goods).  And every woman knows that different bun coverers produce different allusions.

And there were plenty of allusions to be had.

Allusion #1
Left bun completely contained.  Right bun hanging out in a steep diagonal.

Allusion #2
A chewed up piece of gum on the underside of a city bench.

And that's when I decided to start doing something about it.  May 1st I started.  And kept it a secret.

Because I wanted to know if Big D noticed.  You probably have seen that thing rolling around pinterest where it says something to the effect of - It takes 1 month for you to notice, 2 months for family/loved ones to notice, and 3 months for the rest of the world to notice.

I will just say - June 29, Big D said some nice things that do not need repeating.

So, I proved that silly saying true.  Or maybe Big D proved that saying true.  And I felt like a queen.

Personally, I can't see or feel a difference, but when I walk - that feels different.  Maybe a more controlled jiggle vs. an illegal wobble.

Buns are on the mend.  They may not ever crawl back exactly where they came from, but they're trying.  And I'll take satisfaction in their positive attitude.

Take Aways
1)  Love the potential your body possesses.
2)  Feel like a queen when somebody notices, even if it takes 2 months.

Fun Fact
I came back home last night due to the holiday in the middle of the week.  Sometimes it's nice to be separate from husbands for a bit.  They like you a lot more that way.  And you like them a little bit more too.  I thoroughly enjoyed my splattered couch, Jewish wine, and mind-rotting tv.

P.S.
A picture to honor mom's bellies.