Why I Moved in With Mother

Here's the scoopy poopy.

Like I mentioned earlier last week, I've moved in with my mother.  True dat.

And as much as I would like you all to think wild thoughts about the state of Big D's and my holy matrimony - I am pleased to tell you that we are fine and as smooth as butter.

I moved in with my mother for a selfish/nonselfish reason.  Here goes.

When I turned 15 I started teaching swim lessons.  And fell a bit in love - over time.  I really was forced into the situation.  Kinda like an arranged marriage. And over time my heart opened up to the love potential.

Things I Love About My Job
1) The pay
2) The challenge
3) The staff
4) The confidence in my ability to perform a job well done that has built over time
5) The results
6) The creativity
7) The reason to show off my firming buns

Things I Hate About My Job
1) The creepy dads
2) The chemical water that instantly gives me a rash
3) The temperature of the water
4) The possiblity of having to deal with a life or death situation
5) The conflicts
6) The bodily fluids/communicable diseases

So, every summer the swim program hosts a 6 week program - and last year I almost ended my marriage for the 37th time while doing the swim program.  Every minute of every day has to be accounted for and Big D is anything but helpful.  Honestly, it's worse than that.  He turns into a dickleweed.  And I turn into a roaring she-lion on steroids who just had 7 cubs.  And we claw at each other and bite each other where it really matters.

When I finally decided to work this summer again (there were a lot of deciding factors) I thought maybe that moving in with Mother would be wise.  I would get more sleep.  I wouldn't have the stress of the commute (1 hour).  And Big D and I would be separate and therefore loving when we had the opportunity to see each other (minus last night).  The kids have a more consistent schedule and are a lot more pleasant to be around.

One week down, 5 to go.  Big D is all about paying me extra attention . . . (every woman wants to feel desired - and I have felt desired, minus last night)  Maybe it's just my new buns.  I have gotten far less sleep - the kids are in bed with me. ("uggles mommy" - I think Ed is going through snuggle withdrawals since there really isn't a time to snuggle because there is always SO much work to be done at Mothers.  So bed is the only place where I'm in one position for longer than 5 minutes.)  I am less stressed and time constricted.  The kids have a choice of 7-9 adults at any given time to play with/help/watch.

And then I came home - and my mole hole turned into this:  (I hope this makes you all feel better about the condition of your mole hole.  Or house - if you have an actual house.)

Take Aways
1)  Choose unconventional ways to live life.
2)  Find things that you love - and do them.  Even if they're unconventional.
3)  Sleep is over rated, stress is not.
4)  Pay attention to the day you're in, leaving tomorrow for tomorrow.

Fun Fact
Ed is obsessed with feeling my armpits.  He thinks they're soft.  But when they're sweaty - which is 97% of the time - he says "ew" and them smears his sweaty fingers on the couch. I am destined to have the grossest couch forever and ever amen.