Empty on Love

On a scale of:  keep me forever and I will snuggle you 3 million pounds OR you're getting fed straight to the chickens - Ed is getting thrown in the feeding trough.  I'm not even going to give him the chance of the scratching yard.

It is painful that he is being so horrifically turdable at Mothers - since there is no wine.  I would be a severe alcoholic at this point if I was living at home.  I have never wanted to drown my sorrows so terribly and so thoroughly.

Its just constant screaming.  And yelling "no". And the blatant disobedience.  Have I mentioned his pride issue?

I have the brat that still screams in the shopping cart all the way through the store.  Yup, and he's 2 1/2.  Screams.  The aisles clear faster than tsunami running.

And all I can think about, is picking him up like a hot torpedo, and launching him.  And hopefully he would then land in the ravenous feeding troughs of the chickens.

He's been shit-bombing his underwear too, lately. (The "shit" was to emphasize how excited I am of late)  Now I don't want to be grumpy that he's actually pooping - because of his hoarding history.  But really?  I used up that kind of patience 3 explosive squirts ago.

And to make matters worse - our bedroom at Mother's is 3x3, and the fan HAS to go in the window. But at the end of last week the temperatures traipsed down into the 50's.  And do you think Ed would sleep under the blankets?  Nope.  Completely on top.  And he complained all night about being cold.  But as soon as I did a sneak-attack cover up, he kicks everything off.

Yesterday, he sat on Mother's lap for 20 minutes refusing to say goodbye to her.  Screamed the whole time.  Really exercised his pride.

And then Big D has the audacity to argue with me over the phone about getting 2 bowls of pho versus 1.  (He's set up on the launch pad with a one-way ticket in his back pocket.  Destination:  feeding trough, chicken coup)

Take Aways
1)  Trade boys in for new shoes.
2)  Buy grape juice, dump down drain and refill with wine.
3)  Put Ed in snowsuit for sleeping.
4)  Pop a deliciously MSG bag of popcorn to munch on while watching Big D get launched.