Peener Problems

Poor Ed has a peener infection.  A possible reason why he's been so special the past few days?

I took his morning diaper off to find a pile of cheese.

No fever.  No complaining.  Just his typical foul attitude towards life.

I smelled the cheese and it smelled like a grown woman's vagina.  And with that I assumed it was possibly a yeast infection.

But I wasn't too concerned and went to work - all of 9/10th's of a mile away and called his Pediatrician who answered right away.  (Christmas miracles happen when you make early calls) And she immediately connected me to the nurse (*gasp* where I didn't even have to leave a message and get called back around bedtime) who advised me to come in to the office. (1 hour away)  They had a 9 am appointment open.

I did a bunch of tire squealing and baby snatching and made it to his appointment on the dot.

And as the doctor was taking the diaper off, a glob of white puss came oozing out of his little peener.  The timing could not have been more divine.  I did not have to show her the cheese filled diaper that I had brought from home.  Phew - cuz that's kinda gross and obnoxious.

She said to me "good call" about bringing him in (a royal robe was placed around my shoulders as queenship took over)

So, with my first peener infection under the belt - and I feel all the wiser.  Ed is not oozing any more.  And he's a super eager beaver to take his pink peener medicine.

And now I have to be a responsible mother and give my poor children a soaking bath every night.  Lame.  I guess the soaking part helps to clean out all the "debris" that gathers in tips of penises.

Moment of honesty:  I hate giving baths.  Therefore, the children don't get a bath unless Murnice's hair smells like old moth balls and Ed has visible dirt smeared on more than 3 different body parts.

Take Aways
1)  Peeners are just as complex as vaginas.
2)  The words "peener" and "wanker" are so much better than other penis verbiage.
3)  Big D called me more than he's ever called me at Mothers to check up on the peener infection boy.  I think I got 4 calls?  Hmmmm how does a peener infection trump just pure missing love?