Pleasant is as Pleasant does

I am a grumpy morning person.

In the morning I am grumpy.

I am a morning person and am grumpy.

I like mornings vs. night.  I wake up much easier vs. staying awake.  In fact, it's common knowledge that when Friday Friends come over, I fall asleep on the couch.  I will not be embarrassed to say the average time of falling asleep - 9:00pm.  You may be thinking that I am talking like this happens all the time.  I will not be embarrassed to say yes, yes it does.  Almost every time.  If I stay up till 11, I feel like a wild cat.

I can do mornings much easier than nights.  But the problem is, I wake up miserable EVERY DAY.  I do not want to be smiled at, talked to, kissed, stared at, waved to, I don't want to hear you, smell you, listen to you shower, hear closet doors or dressers open and close.  I definitely don't want to hear cupboards open, spoons clanking on bowls, front doors open or keys a jangling.  But the worst offensive of all - THE WORST - is to hear a sneeze.  I have contemplated keeping a medium sized bowl of medium sized rocks on my bed stand.  (I really have thought about this with vigor) When I become offended in the morning, I would just throw rocks in the general direction of the offense.

My grumpiness is out of control.  I realize this.  I think it's getting worse with age.

Lately Ed has been waking up earlier than normal. A mere 6-6:30am vs the typical 8:30-10am.  When I see that sweet little red-sleep-crumpled face trailing a parade of blue and neigh behind him, I do not think pleasant thoughts.  I do not smile back and wave sweetly like he does to me.  I growl at him when he comes to the side of the bed asking so sweetly to come up and snuggle.  My heart does melt when he's finally in our bed (after a circus act of trying to pick him up without having to move a muscle myself for fear of waking up more than I already am) and I can stick my nose in his sweet little neck and sniff in his snuggliness.

My attitude is so terrible in the morning that i don't want to keep it just to myself.  I force myself out of bed if Big D is still in the house.  I stumble in a very dramatic formation out to the couch, sounding the *SPIDER ALERT* alarm as I go (that will have to be another post another day)  I proceed to plop down in the most unattractive manner and scowl.  I want my poor happy husband to know just how miserable I am.  Shameful behavior to say the least.  I growl at him too.  I turn in disgust - like he's a skeezy uncle - as he tries to kiss me goodbye.

And then, something magical happens. I take my first sip of tea.  Hot and steamy with too much honey.  And joy slowly fills my heart.  I have hope for the day.  My love-o-meter becomes replenished.  And I have faith that I will be able to mother appropriately for another day.  Until Ed pees on me.

This leaves you with a few, very obvious take-aways from this beautiful insight into my life.

1)  The Witherhalls and morning sex do not mix.
2)  I have issues.  And I am aware of them. Now you know how to pray for me better : )
3)  Maybe I'm a "middle of the day" person.  Screw the "morning" and "night" categories only.
4)  Do not ruin or withhold my tea in the morning.
5)  I welcome kisses at night.  After my tea.  And when I can't contain my joy and relief that my "rescuer" has come.  Finally.