Sister Bear Finally Pops

I've been face-timing Sister Bear everyday.  Normally, I'll call her everyday - but she's a mumbler.  And she's pregnant.  So, when I face-time her, not only can I lip read her and catch every word she mutters.  But I can also look at her face and get an idea of what her day looks like.  Have I mentioned that I LOVE face-time?  It really sums up the "a picture is worth a thousand words" saying.

So last year, I made my annual trip, half way to snow bird land, in the middle of August.  But Sister Bear was a wheeny whiner and asked if I could come at the end of September this year, so I could be there for the birth of her 2nd baby.  Or at least see her new baby.

Well, said baby was stuck as an old tortoise in a balloon.  And everyday that I would face-time Sister Bear, she would look a tad more not happy.  . . . Let me back up a little more.

Sister Bear was supposed to have a homebirth with her first baby - Gills.  But things went a little differently and she ended up in the hospital.  With a full fledge hospital birth.  Induction, epidural, oxygen, and all the other things hospitals like to use on their poor unsuspecting victims.

So with THIS baby, Sister Bear was feeling the pressure of every day passing.  Every day that the baby didn't come.  Because our society is stuck in their silly made up game of "due dates".  Every day closer to another hospital birth.

And so Sister Bear's growls would accumulate.  And her temperament went quite south by the 6th day of being over her prescribed day of baby puttage out.

But I was still planning on visiting for the birth.  That was the plan.  And I was bringing Murnice and Ed.  You know, homeschool science/health lesson.

On the 8th day over due, I packed my car.  Stuck the kids in bed.  Reminded them that  I was going to wake them up offensively early - and to just keep their grumbles to themselves.

And 3 seconds before heading to bed myself, I received a phone ringle from Mother.  And she said things like:  Sister Bear is a puddle.  Sister Bear is nervous about you bringing the kids.  Sister Bear doesn't have any food in the house.  Sister Bear has been crying all day.

WHAT THE BLOODY DAD GUM???!!!  

(Remember I face-time Sister Bear every day? And not once did she let on to any of this)

So I squeezed my buns together real hard, and called Sister Bear.  And she said things like:  Are you mad at me?  My house is too little.  I don't have any food.  I don't want the kids in the house when I'm pushing a baby out.  Can you just drive the kids around the city while I'm having the baby?

That last one did it for me.  I put a kibosh to the whole trip.  I did not think it would be beneficial to anyone's smiles, to drive most of the day - to only be stuffed back in the car to drive around "the city" for an undefined time limit.  Without being fed.

So I said, "That's it.  I'm not coming. Good riddance."

And on the 10th overly miserable day - Sister Bear had her baby.  Like she wanted.  At home.  And everything went perfect and grand.  And fast.  And a transition phase that lasted only 1 contraction.

And I still refused to go see her and wish her well.  But I do keep face-timing her.

Take Aways
1)  Never believe a word your sister says.
2)  Always overstay your visit with your brother and his family.
3)  And tell him that he doesn't have a choice.  You're staying regardless of how he feels.
4)  And then smile as large as your bottom lip will allow.
5)  And then really act like you own the place.  And forever get your large bottom in the way.