Do you know what J-man did for me? (J-man, the pool boy that lives at Mothers)
After a special extraordinary weekend filled with obnoxious men, grumpy attitudes, refusals to poop, and lots of screaming. (Big D included)
J-man brought his fancy computer to the table at Mothers, where I was sitting and groveling in my poor attitude. His computer has a chastity belt wrapped 2 times around the middle complete with 4 locks. J-man unlocked all 4 locks, threw them in the meat grinder and then emptied it into the trash. He opened the computer to reveal (star star sparkle star star) a special button that I push that brings me straight to my wonderful blog sight.
No fancy wizard twirls and special 5 letter, 7 number, 13 special signs and symbols pass codes. Just a simple double click.
I legitimately feel like a queen.
And what adds the luscious cherry on top - is that J-man leaves his computer in a very easy location for me to access. No wild goose chases or bachelor pad ransacks.
Also, he patted my hand 4 times and smiled nicely. And I half smiled back.
Take Aways
1) Whenever possible, steal any J-manish man off the street corners and have him move in with you.
2) 31 years later, I still hate Patch the Pirate the same.
3) Husbands don't care if J-men move in.
4) Honestly, it makes them happy, and life easier.
5) I think it's time for me to run away and have a break from all of these naughty men in my life. Minus J-man
I think that I may claim at the very least a small amount of credit for the wonderful pool boy that J-Man has turned into. Thank you.
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