Low Lady on the Totem Pole

Big D and I have a severe difference.  It's "OUR" fight.  (You know, every couple has a fight that ALL the fights go back to)(Sister Bear's is about cockroaches.  Friday Friends is about car key placement.)  Our fight is about Big D never being home.

It used to be sports that took him away from home.  He was on 5 different teams of various ball-themed activities when we first met and into our first couple years of marriage.  Then it briefly went to friend visits.  Then work meetings.  And now it's a pleasant mixture of rabbi activities and work meetings. (I say "pleasant" with a twisted tongue.)  He saves his friend get-togethers for the weekend.  When the family can come.  (This sounds so kind of him - but it's actually awful)

So in my eyes, I am competing for attention with all of these activities.  And I want to be #1 at all points of the day, week, (including weekends) and forever.  I am an introvert and love my couch.  And I want Big D to love my couch almost as much as I do.  AKA sit on the couch with me till he puts his butt before me, and farts.

Ok, I know I sound awful and greedy and so selfish.  And truthfully, I'm all of those things. 

However, that being said - I know that after 9 years of fighting to be the top of the totem pole, I know that I will only get as far as right below the scariest face.  I have tried threats, seduction, food, promises, and other sorts of techniques that a lady should not admit too. . . . . . And he always leaves for whatever is more exciting than the couch.

I promise you, he sits in his big empty office at work, and thinks up ways to avoid the couch.  Last night he went straight from work to a "peer support group meeting for fellow MBA graduates - minus Big D who is not a graduate - yet".  AND get this!  They got the college to provide food for them.  How do people even think up these things?!

If I were on that committee - or any committee . . . .
"Foxy, we need to have a meeting ."  "Ok, my couch is comfortable, lets meet there.  And we'll drink tea."
"Foxy, lets have mom's group."  "Ok, lets have it at my house.  We can sit on my couch."
"Foxy, lets have intercourse."  . . . . . . .   (Secret:  that's the real reason why my couch is so smeared)

(I'm getting so sidetracked)

Anyway, sometimes I try to act like a grown-up.  I try to have a somewhat mature attitude.  I'll put Big D's activities into my calender to try and make it seem a bit fancier than it really is.  Sometimes when things appear fancy I have a better attitude.

So last night I started out with a better attitude.  I took an afternoon nap while the kids watched an abundance of tv.  I made boxed mac and cheese with tuna for dinner.  (it was incredible)  Then I read a few chapters to them to alleviate my guilt, put them to bed - and eagerly awaited Big  -who was going to sit on the couch and watch Burn Notice and then New Girl with me, while we chatted about our days like grownups.

Except that's not how it went.  Lets just say that after 2 episodes of Burn Notice AND 2 episodes of New Girl Big D still had not come home.  And I got *ahem* a little excited.  And then stormed off to bed like a spoiled poop stain.

So, 3 readers . . . What is your main fight?  Do share. And then tell me if you have a solution for your main fight - or if you just take the opportunity to really duke it out.  Because sometimes a duke session is really what the Dr. has ordered.

Take Aways
1)  Find a permanent couch buddy and pay them handsomely.
2)  Never have expectations.  Especially if they're romantic.
3)  Continue to rock as a mother and have outstanding evenings with your children.
4)  I can't decide which one is better - tv or chemical dinner.  Both were amazing.  So . . . do both.
5)  Maybe add something, like a little sodypop with dinner.
6)  Have "poor me" treats hidden in the cupboards.